Situations arise that defy logic, people didn't act/react the way we expect.
So we act/react in inappropriate ways
Ways that defy logic, ways that if we had any sense what so ever, we wouldn't act on. Human emotion is a funny thing. Affairs of the heart complicate matters even further. Rational thought goes out the window. We make decisions based on emotion rather than what is truly best for us, causing ourselves more pain and agony. There are consequences for our actions we don't see at the time of such outbursts, things that have far-reaching implications that can effect things like finances, relationships and your freedom.
I have made some if these choices in my own life and have/am dealing with those issues, not because its what I want but I have no choice. The bed you have made is the one you must lie in.
In my search for what the hell is wrong with me, I've come to realize that fear is the basis for most if not all of the poor decisions I've made. Fear of rejection, of loss, of not being able to live up to someone else's expectations. Or having to take responsibility for someone else's well being. My fear has always been that I will work for everything I have always wanted, only to have it snatched away at the last moment. It was eventually,in a New York minute. Poof! Gone! Like a joke who's punch line I don't get. "What?!?"
The reality was that it was slipping away from me for a long time. A situation I neither dealt with or acknowledged. The slow death of a relationship is agonizing for both parties, but the fear of being alone overrides the unhappiness for awhile. In the end there is just nothing left to fight for. Fear is the mind killer. Sounds silly because its a movie quote( Dune for the uninitiated ) but it's rings quite true.
The only thing that has stopped
me has always been...... Me
I must overcome myself if I am to succeed. Whatever that takes.
Fear is the mind killer.
Stay true
P
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