Friday, May 2, 2014

Hold my beer and watch this shit.......

What up 
   It's been awhile so I thought I'd write some, get something's off my chest.
First, I miss you. There no words to describe how much you are missed every single day. There are reminders of you in my day to day routine. A day doesn't pass that you don't cross my mind a hundred times. The memories keep me from dwelling too long in sadness, loss, in tears. You are my best friend, Brian 
I'm trying to get right in my life, do some of the things we talked about. Andrew graduates in a few weeks, I will be there to see it for both of us. I'm making the trip permanent. A couple of months after you passed, it all finally fell apart for missy and I. I needed you and I couldn't talk to you. It made the pain worse. I admit I lost myself for awhile. I'm back now, though in what form, I'm not sure. I am starting over again. I need space and time away from here. To heal. To live. I've met a woman, who seems to be tailor made for me. We shall see. She lives close to lake city, which is one of a number of "signs" that made themselves apparent during the beginning stages. Im taking it as it comes. albeit it has come pretty fast. i think you'd like her. I do and i think she'll be good for me, she tells me I'm amazing and I don't see why but she does. I need that I think. She has been through a lot also, she's kinda incredible to have come through it all with a heart that can still love, so that being said the reasons to move to Michigan pile up and  you know me, brother, I go where my heart leads me
It's leading me to Michigan this time. 
  It feels a little late though, I can't help feeling that if I'd come sooner, things would be different. Wishful thinking from a grieving man . I will watch your boys grow into men and marvel at the young woman Kristin is now. Everything about them reminds me of you. I know you went through a lot in the last few years
I thought things were beginning to look up. Then you were gone from this mortal coil. You were everything that was good about me. You were a good man and a true brother. I will do my best to live up to being a father and grandfather now, and an uncle. I will be a better man bri  I owe you that. You were always there for me and mine. I will be there for yours. I love Brian. I think your looking down. I've thought I've felt you a time or two. More wishful thinking ? I don't believe so, but then again I'm a dreamer and a musician.
I believe everything can be fixed with a wish and the right song. Silly, I know but you have to believe in something. Why not magic and wonder and dreams ?
So keep watching little brother, this shit gonna be good 
Stay true 
;ps

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